Lessons Learned

Kenya

2009-12-03T20:09:00.008-06:00

A few months ago I had the chance to go to the other side of the world: Mombasa, Kenya. We went there to partner with our friends Josh and Maggie at Lighthouse for Christ- our task was to help build a "church" near Kilifi. The church we were tasked with building was essentially a concrete slab with a tin roof and walls made out of more tin and chicken wire. Our missionary friend, Josh, told me that this structure we were going to build is "beyond their wildest imagination"- they being the church members. As you can see from the picture, many of the nearby homes were essentially mud and straw, so concrete and tin were sortof a luxury.

Each day as we worked, we had a contingent of locals who came to help. One of these fellows was named Ali, and we soon learned that Ali was actually a Muslim. Nonetheless, he was happy to work on a Christian church to make money. When I asked how much he would make for his effort, I was told probably 200 shillings. That's 3 bucks for a hard day's labor. Here is a picture of the workers- you can see Ali on the far left in the attached photo.

I was saddened by the number of kids who were at the worksite each day. I found out they weren't in school because they were either too young or their parents couldn't afford to send them. You'll see a picture attached where the kids are gathered around me. It actually looks like I am giving them a profound word or teaching them some cool phrase in English, but that's not true. In fact, all I was doing was staring at them. They stared back. It was as if I was an alien from an other world who had been transplanted to their land. Most of the kids were in tattered clothes that I would only put on my kids if it were the last thing they had. They were barefoot in most cases, and didn't seem to mind. I was absolutely mesmerized by these kids-so much so that I literally couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say to them. They had a certain sparkle in their eyes, yet at the same time, a look of desperation. It was as if they looked at me wondering if I was their Messiah, the one who would rescue them from their simple lives of poverty. I felt so helpless, knowing there was very little I could do to help them or improve their lives for the sake of Christ. I looked at them and thought of my children- I thought of the food we waste, the clean water we take for granted, and the clean clothes we have to put on. Realizing the state of things in rural Kenya made me sick at the thought of our selfish society that takes a "me first" attitude to everything. We spend so much time acquiring and consuming and storing and building while others are starving. What an eye opener.

The majority of Kenya is Muslim. I attached a picture of one of many mosques that I saw as we traveled the countryside. There are Christian churches there as well, but they are a minority. The most striking aspect of a Muslim world is the call to prayer that is heard all over the city at various times of the day. Check out the attached video.

The end of the story is about Sam. Sam is a pastor of one of the local churches, but he also is an excellent carpenter and handyman. He spoke good English, but I think preferred to speak in Swahili! Sam has a heart of gold- I was encouraged to hear him say his favorite book of the Bible is Joshua. He grinned ear-to-ear as he spoke about his admiration for the integrity and character of Joshua. I was comforted by the words of Sam, who you can see in the middle of the above picture. Before we left, he told me, "They will never forget you. Those kids will never forget you. And because the church is here now, and you helped build it, they will come to it." Wow. Maybe there was something that I had to offer those kids. Or at least I could help set up a place where one could come after me who could offer the message of the gospel to them. That would be the greatest gift I could give them. And that makes it all worth it.

I love you because

2009-09-10T21:16:00.004-05:00

Brantley and I were snuggling in bed the other night and he said, "Dad, I love you."

I started to reply with my usual, but for some reason was prompted to ask him why he loved his Dad.

"Because you love Mommy," was his reply.

Needless to say I was touched almost to the point of tears. Then came the realization that his understanding of love in large part comes from what he sees. If he sees me speaking rudely or belittling Kate, then that to him is incorporated into his standard of what love is. If I yell and holler and act like the world revolves around me, then he sees that too. If I come home in a bad mood and do not acknowledge the boys or my bride, he might think "that's just the way Dads are."

What an awesome responsibility we have as parents! God has given us the chance to mold and shape the way our little ones understand and perceive the way relationships work. I have been charged with showing love to my wife and my kids, which ultimately shows them who God is, for God is love.

God, please grant me the grace to live in a way that is honorable and right so that the little eyes that see me might be impressed with the image of Christ in their minds. May I do justice to Your Name and be humbled by this awesome responsibility you've given me. Teach me to call upon You for help in this, for I am certainly doomed to failure if left to work it out myself.

Always know where the cut off valve is

2009-08-10T22:21:00.003-05:00

So it just rained cats-and-dogs, and my bride comes in from her early-morning workout routine and announces that I should turn off the sprinklers since the ground was already rather moist. I trapse out to the garage and turn the dial to "Off", assuming that the sprinkler heads would go back to their home in the ground. An hour later, after I am fully showered, shaven, and dressed to go to work, I find out that the sprinklers did not, in fact, return home, and I needed to do something about it. Now I'm all about conserving natural resources, but at that moment I was more in the "let's try to keep our yard from looking like the Atlantic ocean" frame of mind. Anyway, I took my starched slacks off, threw some old clothes back on and started walking toward the sprinkler box. When I get there, the box is completely filled with water and I can't seem to locate the valve that shuts the whole thing down...back to the house. By this time it is past 8 AM, so Kate calls the "sprinkler man" to ask for a stat appointment. She quickly hands the phone over to me and I realize that there are no stat appointments available. BUT- as a courtesy- the receptionist is willing to give me instructions on how to turn my water off. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the whole situation, I indulge her and listen as she describes the location of the valve that I need to shut off to make the sprinkler heads, the water, and the whole kit-and-kaboodle go away. Turns out I was looking in the wrong box. **Oops**

Anyway, I make my way back out to the GREEN box located by the street. Squatting down to reach through about 8-12 inches of water for the valve, I realize it is not a valve you can just give a little turn with the hand. I need a wrench. By that time, God had unleashed the fury of heaven and the rain which started as a sprinkle was now at a full downpour. I obtain the needed wrench and despite my best efforts, cannot get it shut off. Need to bail water out of the box so I can see what is going on.

So I found a stray milk jug that was not being used, cut the top off, and used it as a pitcher to bail water out of the sprinkler box. After I got enough out to see what I was doing, I figured I'd give it the old college try once again. No luck.

I turn my attention back to the black box which contains the main water valve to the house. "If I shut this off," I thought to myself, "I turn off all clean water that runs to my house." I had to savor the moment- it was a Tim the Toolman kind of moment when I realized that I had the power of the whole household at my fingertips! Kinda wondered if God ever felt this way...

Thoroughly drenched by this point and feeling a little desperate, I turned off the main valve. "That did it!" I thought.

I gathered my belongings and headed to the garage. Not wanting to bring the Gulf of Mexico into the house, I started to take off my wet clothes and realized I was going to need another shower.

Then I put two-and-two together and realized no water = no shower.

Back to the street I go with my wrench. I manage to get the water turned back on, and luckily the sprinkler was now off and unplugged.

So, my friends, a word to the wise (and a lesson learned): Know where the cut off valve is BEFORE you have an urgent (or emergent) situation

Why I love my wife

2009-06-20T23:02:00.002-05:00

My bride of almost 9 years amazes me. She is patient and kind and so loving. Here's at least a partial list of why I married her- just in case you're wondering...

1. Kate is so normal. She just is. If you know her you understand what I mean.

2. Kate is a loving mother to our boys. I never would have anticipated that, but she is amazing with those guys. I even think she's surprised by herself sometimes.

3. She is determined. What I mean by that is that she insists on doing certain things her way. She won't buy the kids' b-day cakes because she can make her own! She won't pay someone to clean her house - she figures she can do it herself.

4. Kate is very practical. She has encouraged me many times to make good decisions because what I wanted to do just wasn't practical.

5. She makes me less "rough-around-the-edges".

6. She is compassionate toward the downtrodden.

7. She lives out her faith on a daily basis.

8. She washes my clothes and makes me supper. (I'd love her even if she didn't do these things, but what a bonus!)

9. She is so smart.

10. She tries hard to make our home a place of refuge.

11. Kate loves Jesus and is committed to following Him.

12. Kate tries really hard to take care of her body.

13. Kate always fights fair- even when I have really offended her. She always forgives and doesn't hold grudges.

14. She is supportive of me. If I told her I felt like we should move to the moon she'd probably go along with it!

15. She is a source of accountability for me.

16. Kate likes to do alot of the same things as me- especially go to the lake!

17. Kate often thinks about others before herself.

18. She is very much committed to her family.

19. Kate is lots of fun to talk to. She's a good conversationalist and a good friend.

20. Kate has my best interests in mind. She won't let me- or anyone else- make a decision that would be in opposition to what is best.

I could go on all night, but the point is clear. Sorry to all you other guys- I've got the best wife around!!

2009-05-31T00:27:00.001-05:00

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Thorn in my Flesh

2009-05-26T21:17:00.004-05:00

After several years of feeling tired all the time I have been diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. Basically this is a disorder that causes you to stop breathing when you're asleep. Every time this happens your brain "wakes you up" to tell you to breathe. You don't actually realize you're waking up, but you are. It basically prevents you from getting a good night's sleep.
The treatment for this disorder is called continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP). Basically I get to lie in bed wearing a mask similar to the one here
<--------------------

and air blows in my nose and mouth all night. Fun! The idea is that the air prevents the airway from closing off and allows me to continue breathing throughout the night.
As you might imagine, it is rather miserable. What is even worse is that my sweet wife, being that she is also my bed partner, has to endure the sound of the machine and me breathing into a mask and hose all night. If you are having trouble imagining what this might be like, go watch Star Wars. Remember Darth Vader?

Anyway, I was pondering my struggle and a few things hit me.

1) Paul said, "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." I have no real idea what it means to suffer. I live in a wealthy nation and practically have everything I could ever ask for. I am not persecuted for my faith. I have a loving family. God has provided for me in numerous, uncountable ways. We should all take a minute to be thankful for the things we DO have rather than worry about the stuff we want. Really puts it into perspective I think.
2) Paul begged the Lord three times that his "thorn in the flesh" might leave him. God responded to him by saying, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Oh that I might understand the depths of God's grace!
3) James commands us to "Consider it all joy...when [we] encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of [our] faith produces endurance." Could it be that God is testing my faith through this thing? Could it be that I am lacking in endurance? Most certainly it could, but why do I need endurance, God? What is next in my life that I am going to need endurance for?

I think I have to come back to the fact that I know God is a good and loving God. He responds to me as a Father responds to His children. I might not understand everything that happens on this earth, but I know God has a plan for me. I trust Him as a wise God who has "thoughts that are not as my thoughts".

Reflections on Easter

2009-04-12T23:01:00.003-05:00

First of all, here's a pretty great pic of me and the boys, snapped by my lovely wife!

I've been ruminating for quite some time now on the things of life, specifically the purpose of life.

Start with a quote by Oswald Chambers-

"The cross did not happen to Jesus: He came on purpose for it...The cross is the centre of Time and of Eternity, the answer to the enigmas of both."

A wise man explained to me recently that many people on this earth do not live to the fullest and/or do not have joy because they are not living in line with their purpose. Furthermore, many people do not even realize they have a purpose for being here. They wander through life, looking for meaning in relationships and possessions. Each relationship they enter into leaves them longing for something more. Each purchase digs a hole in the soul that feels empty and cold. Life is a series of events that randomly occur in no particular order or format.

On the other hand, Jesus models for us a life of fullness. He clearly lived with intentionality and purpose. He was keenly aware that He was on earth because He had a job to do and He held unswervingly to that fact. So how can I live with that same calling, that same "fire in the belly" that drove Jesus to do the things He did? Scripture indicates God has a plan for all of our lives. So that means we must NOT be here by accident. All of us, no matter how screwed up we feel and no matter what circumstances we have gotten ourselves into, are here for a reason. So how do we get in touch with that purpose or perhaps more appropriately I could call it "life vision"?

I propose that the first thing which needs to occur is that our eyes must be opened to the light of God's Word. I suggest that the Great Commandment is a good starting place for the Christian who is looking to understand his life vision-

"You shall love the LORD you God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength."

When we begin to embrace a fundamental truth such as this one, we see all other events in life through the lens of this principle.

As we commit ourselves to Him more and more over time I believe He changes us. Pretty soon my desires are no longer what they used to be- a faster car, a bigger house, a nicer watch, etc. etc. And as this transformation occurs- let's call it "progressive sanctification"- I become more and more aware of the fact that He is all I need.

Why I love my town

2009-03-01T22:32:00.002-06:00

The boys, my wife, and I went out to eat tonight. We usually eat early, mostly because I get hungry early, but also because the boys go to bed by 7:30 or 8. Anyway, we had a little shopping to do, so we decided to sandwich our dinner in between two stops we had to make. We decided to eat Mexican food because we had a coupon for a certain restaurant that we like okay (go figure). Anyway, we get there and we're like one of only two families in the place. Which is good. That means better service for me. In theory.

So we discuss what looks good, and what we have to do to get the benefit of the coupon.

I decide what I want and my bride makes her choice as well. Within a few minutes the server appears at our table with her pen and pad to take our requests. Here's how it happened:

"We'll have the chicken strips for Brayden, and he will have macaroni and cheese," says Kate, pointing in Brantley's general direction. The server nodded and continued to write. "I want the tacos, but do I have to get refried beans?" (Because other forms of beans with pork fat are so much healthier) It was obvious that this was not the first time that a customer had asked that question. The server put on her best smile and replied, "No, we have 'free-holies'- ya' know- soupy beans?" (You have to imagine the long country drawl that she spoke with.)

"Free-holies?" I thought to myself. "Where are we?"

Well, we eventually got our meal, frijoles and all. Turned out pretty good, those beans did- don't care what you call 'em.

And that's why I like living here. You can go for a night in the town, and talk like you just came out of the cornfields and it's not abnormal.

My top 25+

2009-02-03T20:42:00.002-06:00

This isn't really a "lesson learned", but it is the new fad, so here goes.
1. I am secretly competitive. I can't play sports- at least not very good. BUT-- If I see someone doing something that I think I CAN do (especially if I think I can do better) then I have to try it. So here's to my bro-in-law Mitch Little inspiring me to put this little ditty together.

2. I shaved off my eyebrows as a little boy. I have no idea why I did it, but mom tells me it is because I said I never got any compliments on them. So next time you see me, be sure to notice.

3. Accutane is a wonder-drug. I had fairly severe acne as a teenager, and my derm finally broke down and gave me this medicine. It was a painful 5 months, but it changed my life forever.

4. I love Beemers. I'll probably never have one, because I really can't justify it, but I still love to admire them :)

5. I strongly dislike people who drive slow in the fast lane. This is a frequent occurrence in East Texas. I don't know why. It is almost like people have never been to Dallas where driving slow in the fast lane may get you capped.

6. I don't see the point of buying DVDs. Maybe I'm cheap. Or maybe I just don't like movies that much. I guess it all comes down to the fact that after I watch a movie once I'm pretty much done with it.

7. Gardening is therapeutic to me. Don't ask me why, but it is my outlet. At least for now. Sounds kinda like an old-man sport. I don't care. I'm gonna keep growing my squash.

8. When I retire from pharmacy, I think I will probably drive a bus or do something that a "regular person" would do. Didn't you ever see that episode of The Cosby Show? I'd love to have a mindless job where you can actually help people out and NOT have to think too hard.

9. I believe in doing the right thing because it's the right thing. Some people have to be convinced to do the right thing so you won't be punished. Others do the right thing to get a reward. I try to do the right thing because, after all, it's the right thing doggone it!

10. I love my boys. There's something special about raising boys. I believe God gave them to Kate and me for a very specific purpose. Can't wait to see what that's about.

11. I'm kinda a grammar freak. Bugs me when people write "there" and they mean "their" or "to" when they mean "too". I blame it on my 7th grade English teacher!

12. My wife is my standard of beauty. Not that there aren't other beautiful women in the world, but they are all inferior to Kate.

13. I'm not really in to surface conversation. If you ask me how I'm doin', don't be offended if I don't give much of an answer. But if you ask me what it is like working in a hospital when the country is in economic crisis, don't be offended if I tell you more than you want to know!

14. I almost never leave the house in a non-ironed shirt. Looks sloppy. I can't go out like that.

15. I loved my grandparents. My parent did a great thing when they moved our family to Tyler so I could grow up around Mimi, Nonie, and Granddoc. I really miss them.

16. I believe God has a plan for everyone. I don't know what all that looks like or entails, but I do know there is very specific reason you and I are here on this piece of rock.

17. If I had the day off, I'd probably go to the lake. Specifically, Lake Tyler. Something about that place soothes my soul.

18. I have a side to me that is a bit redneck. I can't let it out too often, but stick around and you'll see it.

19. I love to eat- especially the sweet stuff Kate makes! Unfortunately this has got me into trouble a time or two. Everything in moderation, right?

20. I wish I could speak Spanish. I find Spanish-speaking people somewhat fascinating, and wish I could communicate with them better. I am amazed by bilingual interpreters who switch between languages so easily.

21. I like to teach. It's really cool to see the proverbial lightbulb turn on when you explain something to someone and they "get it" for perhaps the first time.

22. I've always wanted to be *really good* at something. Guess I'll have to keep working on that.

23. I'm most excited about meeting King David when I get to Heaven. What an amazing man he was. Yet, he was fallible. He understood the meaning of pain. He knew what it was to experience suffering. He was literally on top of the world for a time and in the pit of hell for a time. I think I could learn alot from a guy like that.

24. I love to travel with Kate. Hopefully one day we can go to Europe. I would love to see Rome.

25. I desperately need Christ. He is not only my Maker, but He is my Sustainer. I can do nothing without Him. His grace allows me to live.

26. I do like to cook, but would only rarely do it for myself. Would have to have some kind of audience.

27. I wish- on alot of days- I had gone to medical school. NOT because I could make more money, but because I think I could do it better than alot of the doctors out there. That probably sounds stuck up, but I've watched how these guys operate.

28. Turns out I am a visual learner. Read me something and I probably won't remember it. Show it to me and I won't forget.

29. I'd rather have a cool boat than a cool car. Thanks mom and dad for helping with this one!!

30. I'm fairly musical, but not awesome at anything. I can sing, but not good enough to be on Idol. Can play some piano chords, but that's about it. Used to be able to play the euphonium, but that has been years...

31. I'd rather spend than save. That's my natural inclination. Thankfully God has taught me that's not always the wisest choice!!

black or blue?

2009-01-09T21:01:00.002-06:00

I was in my closet fumbling around trying to find the right color socks to wear. I needed blue. Either the light was really bad in there or my eyes are just getting old because I couldn't tell. "Are these blue or black?" I thought to myself.
Ah ha! I figured out that if I hold the sock up to something that I knew was black, the true color would become more obvious to me. Sure enough, my socks which looked black to my naked eye were in fact blue when compared to my black-ish shoes. (By the way, since we're dealing with socks here...I've recently converted to the knee-high dress sock. I am convinced there is nothing more comfortable. You don't have to mess with pulling up your socks every 5 minutes, and they are just so comfortable it's crazy. They cost a little more $$, but I think it is well worth it. When it's cold outside, it's like a little more insulation. The guy at Joyner Fry says that's all he wears...
SO here comes the parallel...Often times I think, "Hey, you're not such a bad guy after all, Justin. You've got your life pretty well together." The problem with this attitude is that I forget how miserably rotten I am. When you hold me up against somthing that's perfect (kinda like the blue sock against the black)--- like Christ--- I see the real me. Apart from the Lord, I'm a depraved and destitute man. Nothing about me is good or acceptable or likeable. My life and all that I have pales in comparison to the perfection of Christ. He is pure and lovely. He is spotless. He's majestic and mighty. He is full of grace and truth. He is humble and meek. And by trusting in Him, He transfers His righteouness to me. He takes my life, broken as it may be, and fixes it. He makes something out of nothing. As David said, He is the one "Who forgives all [my] iniquities, who heals all [my] diseases, who redeems [my] life from destruction, who crowns [me] with lovingkindness and tender mercies, who satisfies [my] mouth with good things, so that [my] youth is renewed like the eagle's".
Wow, that's something to be thankful for!

Self checkout

2009-01-01T21:22:00.002-06:00

Don't use the self checkout at Walmart. At least not on New Year's Eve...

So I'm standing there, waiting to pay for my THREE (yes, 3) items in the self checkout lane (doesn't it make sense to use the self checkout for SMALL quantities of groceries?) and I have the unfortunate luck of getting behind two other customers with cartsful of groceries. As each item is slowly dragged across the red light, the computer prompts the customer to "place item in bagging area". You may have realized in your own shopping experiences that if you fail to place the item in the bagging area IMMEDIATELY, or if the machine does not SENSE you placing the item in the bagging area- you may NOT proceed. At that point, the little green light at the top of the pole turns red and we are now waiting for the Walmart employee to come over and "unstick" the machine. You may have also noted during your trips to Walmart that there is only one Walmart employee to service about 4-6 self checkout stations. What I'm getting at here is that the service is anything but immediate...all I can think about is how idiotic these people are. I mean, how hard is it to swipe your barcode and put the can of corn in the bag? You'd think this were rocket science or something. Perhaps we should start requiring those wishing to use the self checkout to show proof of a college diploma first...

What is perhaps more upsetting about this whole shopping experience is the following:
WHY DOES IT BOTHER ME SO BAD?
Is it really that much skin off my back to have to wait an extra 5 minutes to pay for my package of diapers and wipes?
Am I so important that I have to always be the first one in line? After all, I could have chosen to go to the "full service" line if I wanted to, right?

James said we must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. I'm not sure I was angry with the people in front of me, or just irritated. But why? The truth is that in my heart of hearts I count myself greater and others as lesser. Especially if the others don't look like me or dress like me. This is secret pride in its most authentic form.

To be like Christ I have to learn to put others first and make myself last. I have to think about the other guy, not just myself. I have to practice humility. I have to be brought low. I have to think so little of me that I automatically- instinctually- give preference to my neighbor when faced with a choice. Lord, make it so.

33

2008-12-29T22:04:00.001-06:00

I’m 33 years old this year. That is kinda weird because I don’t feel that old. I know it must be true though because I just found my first gray hair or two. My wife tells me I have nothing to worry about. After all, scripture does say “the honor of old men is their gray hair” !!! In an effort to not let my life get away from me, I’ve spent some time thinking about what it means to be 33 and where I am at this point in my life. I have 2 wonderful kids and the best wife one could ask for. That is definitely an aspect of my life that I can savor and relish. God has blessed me with a good job and placed me in an environment where I can learn and grow. We have our own home on a nice piece of property. We have a place around the corner at the lake where we can spend time during the summer. Our church is a great place to worship and fellowship with other believers. We have friends and family that we can call on when we need them. All of these things are great and a blessing from the Lord. But as great as they are, God has shown me over time that they are not what life is about. I am only just beginning to see that Christ’s purpose for me in this life is bigger than my own comfort. It is bigger than my success. It is not just about my attaining to a certain income level or economic status- not just about getting a bigger house or a nicer car or a fatter 401(k). His plan has more to do with my eternal future than my present existence.
One of the reasons I have come to these realizations, I believe, is because I am 33 now. What is the significance of 33, you might ask? It is believed that Jesus was 33 when He was murdered. This fact has hit home with me now more than ever. Jesus was 33 when He died- that means I am a lot like Him. My body is similar to His. I look at my hands and imagine they must be similar to the hands of Jesus- which were pierced with nails. My God, how did You endure that!?! The emotions I feel on a daily basis- He probably felt those too. The frustrations of my life- I bet He could identify. The temptation of the flesh- He knew what that was like. The Bible says Jesus was “tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.” Wow. So that means he probably had thoughts that sprang into His mind and tempted him just like I do- but He knew no sin.

He was so young to die – yet He chose the cross willingly because He knew that was His purpose. He came to redeem mankind and pull us out of the muck and the mire of our sin. He was living His life on earth intentionally, not just by accident. Was He sad to leave this earth? I don’t believe so- because He knew He was returning to His Father. Was His job tough? Incredibly so- so tough that He even asked God the Father to take away the trial before Him at one point. Yet He submitted His will to God. That God-man of only 33 years gave His life on the cross for me- so that I may have eternal life.
In what is left of my 33rd year, I hope I can learn something about living my life with the same kind of purpose that Jesus lived His.